When I first became chronically ill with Asherman’s Syndrome and endometriosis in 2017, after some severe post-birth complications, I really believed surgery would ‘fix’ me.
Unfortunately, many years and surgeries later, plus a more recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and I’ve realised there is no magic bullet for these health struggles. Over time, I started to understand I had to learn everything I could about the causes and mechanisms behind my conditions, so I could offer myself some relief and maintain some sort of a quality of life. I couldn’t rely solely on the medical profession to help me.
In 2021, I had to give up work, and started using a mobility aid to walk. It was a shock to suddenly find myself living with a more challenging level of disability, and I’m still not able to go back into the workplace at the moment. I’ve recently been diagnosed with Deep Infiltrating Endometriosis (DIE), and the pain and fatigue are often overwhelming, stopping me in my tracks. I certainly have days, and even weeks, where I feel a loss of hope, but I’m generally able to keep on top of my mental wellbeing despite how challenging life is.
The idea of ‘self care’ has almost become a bit of a cliché in recent years, but I’ve found it to be an absolute necessity when living with chronic illness. Without it, my mental health really suffers, which then impacts my physical health…before I know it, I’m stuck in a negative loop!
I’ve experimented with all kinds of different self care activities over the years, from meditation, breathwork and yoga, to grounding my feet in the earth each day, Epsom salt baths, and engaging in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or ‘tapping’) sessions, amongst many other things! They’ve all helped in some way, big or small.
Recently, I was struggling more than usual - it felt like the endometriosis was winning the battle, and it was dragging me down both physically and mentally. I also realised that I felt like I wasn’t really living in the way I wanted to, because all my time was taken up by performing my various self-care habits. I hit a kind of self-care burnout, so I decided to take some time off from it for a couple of weeks.
It felt really good to just go with the flow and do things based on my intuition of what would help me in that moment, rather than feeling restricted by my long list of positive habits. I was able to use some of my limited energy resources to look after my home or tackle projects I’d been meaning to look at for a long time.
Sometimes, self care is as simple as tidying my living space (according to my energy levels), or watching something mindless that makes me feel happy and relaxed. I lost sight of this over time and put too much pressure on myself to do things ‘perfectly’. The past couple of weeks have been a timely reminder to not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
If you’re struggling to find time for self-care activities, I totally understand, but it really doesn’t have to be anything too time consuming to make a difference. Tiny little steps can really add up to a lot over time - five minutes of something like meditation each day is hopefully something that anyone can manage, and the impact can be so beneficial in the long-term.
Perhaps spend some time sitting down and really thinking about what lights you up. What makes you feel good, both physically and mentally? It could be getting out in nature, gentle exercise, cold water swimming, being around animals…the possibilities are endless really. Your self care plan will look different to anyone else’s because you’re a unique individual with your own preferences and needs, so don’t feel like a failure if you don’t get on with meditation, for example. You’ll find something that works for you, and it doesn’t have to be set in stone - you can adapt your routine over time and according to your changing needs, just like I recently have.
Social connection is so important too, so try really hard not to isolate yourself, even though it can be hard to socialise when you’re feeling unwell. Find other people who understand what you’re experiencing, both in real life and online too (I always love connecting with new people and you can find me on Instagram, @the_endo_optimist, if this is something you’d like to do!).
I’m a big believer that, with the right self care routine, there is still a lot of joy to be found, even though life may not have turned out as expected, and sometimes pain and sickness can be our greatest teachers in life too.