At the age of 20, I made the decision that I wanted to become a single mother by choice. I know to a lot of people this may seem incredibly young, but I knew it was what I wanted with my entire heart. From an early age, being a mother was my ultimate goal. I was single but I had no intentions of waiting around.
In July 2021 I got in contact with the fertility clinic; the whole process was fairly quick and I started iui (intrauterine insemination) within 4 months of the initial phone call. My first and second unmediated and unmonitored iui’s failed but my third iui, that was monitored and medicated was a success - I was completely overjoyed and just couldn’t believe my luck!
I must have used well over 50 pregnancy tests keeping an eye on line progression (which was only the start of my pregnancy anxiety) although everything went absolutely perfect with my little one and was always on track.
None of my family were aware (apart from my mum who has been my biggest supporter from the start) that I was going down the solo mother by choice route, so it came as quite a shock for everyone when I told them. I had a fairly good reaction from most of my family, although a couple of terrible ones too - the worst being my dad, who was incredibly disappointed. Surprising really considering he’s not been very present in my life, and has seen my daughter 11 times up to now who is almost 15 months old.
At around 7 weeks, the dreaded Hyperemesis hit - completely not ideal as a solo mother working on my feet all day long. I couldn’t keep anything down for just over 20 weeks. Just walking around the shops was too much, crouching down with dizziness every 2 minutes was definitely not my best look in the middle of Tesco. During this time, I was working as a care assistant in a nursing home, which involved no sit down time, so in between throwing up, I was constantly on the go. It wasn’t the easiest but I got through it the best I could.
My birth experience was amazing (not so much the tearing though!) I labored at home for the vast majority of the time and got to the hospital at 7cm dilated. I went unmediated, but did use the gas and air a little bit here and there (which didn’t even seem to help, but did make me throw up!) My daughter was born at 5:15am in the amniotic sac, also known as an en caul birth. I got a third degree tear which was the only negative that made postpartum a little bit rough. It took around 6 months for me to stop being in pain fully, even if they expected that to stop in 6-8 weeks which is of course ridiculous! Although recovery was difficult, all of the newborn snuggles made up for it. Breastfeeding went really well - it was quite a challenge at first but we got there and we’re still going strong almost 15 months down the line.
Becoming a mama has been the best experience of my entire life, and I’m planning on trying for a sibling for my daughter late next year, which I’m so excited about. If solo motherhood is something you’re considering, go for it, you’ll never regret it!